Is it Unequally Yoked or Unequally Yolked?

It’s Unequally Yoked, thought it is often said or mispelled as ‘yolked’. To give you some context, a ‘yoke’ is a heavy wooden harness that fits over the shoulders of an ox. Jesus used this word in the book of Matthew to describe the burdens that we carry in our life, or the things that are upon us - each of us individually. (See Matthew 11:28-30)

In 2 Corinthians 6:14, Paul tells us “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (NIV)

Paul urges believers not to form binding relationships with nonbelievers, because this might weaken their Christian commitment or standards. It would be a mismatch. This is where the term “unequally yoked” came from in regards to marriage.

This is sound advice to Christians who are considering marriage…

But what about those people who are already married and find themselves “unequally yoked”?

For ‘instruction on Christian marriage’, we can look in 1 Corinthians, Chapter 7. Paul wrote this letter specifically to answer questions that the Corinthians had. To fully understand the context, it’s important to know that they lived in the midst of a very sinful culture and that many of them were new Christians who were making drastic lifestyle changes.

In the case that you are already married, and then become a believer, Paul says:

“If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.” 1 Corinthians 7:12-14 (NIV)

We can find further instruction in 1 Peter, chapter 3 verses 1-7:

“Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husband’s so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives..” (NIV)

But what if an ‘Unbeliever’ divorces you - does this mean you must remain alone so that you won’t be considered an ‘adulterer’?

The bible speaks plainly about not marrying a divorced woman, as both parties would be considered adulterers. However, in the case of an Unbeliever leaving a Believer, Paul says this:

But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 1 Corinthians 7:15 (NIV)

There are some important things to be learned here. First, that it is important to choose a spouse that you have much in common with. That you are both on the same level spiritually. And that if you are not, that you set a good example to your spouse that they might be encouraged or inspired to grow spiritually, or to seek salvation themselves.

Also See: Christian Dating

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