It’s Unequally Yoked, thought it is often said or mispelled as ‘yolked’. To give you some context, a ‘yoke’ is a heavy wooden harness that fits over the shoulders of an ox. Jesus used this word in the book of Matthew to describe the burdens that we carry in our life, or the things that are upon us - each of us individually. (See Matthew 11:28-30)

In 2 Corinthians 6:14, Paul tells us “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (NIV)

Paul urges believers not to form binding relationships with nonbelievers, because this might weaken their Christian commitment or standards. It would be a mismatch. This is where the term “unequally yoked” came from in regards to marriage.

This is sound advice to Christians who are considering marriage…

But what about those people who are already married and find themselves “unequally yoked”?

For ‘instruction on Christian marriage’, we can look in 1 Corinthians, Chapter 7. Paul wrote this letter specifically to answer questions that the Corinthians had. To fully understand the context, it’s important to know that they lived in the midst of a very sinful culture and that many of them were new Christians who were making drastic lifestyle changes.

In the case that you are already married, and then become a believer, Paul says:

“If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.” 1 Corinthians 7:12-14 (NIV)

We can find further instruction in 1 Peter, chapter 3 verses 1-7:

“Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husband’s so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives..” (NIV)

But what if an ‘Unbeliever’ divorces you - does this mean you must remain alone so that you won’t be considered an ‘adulterer’?

The bible speaks plainly about not marrying a divorced woman, as both parties would be considered adulterers. However, in the case of an Unbeliever leaving a Believer, Paul says this:

But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 1 Corinthians 7:15 (NIV)

There are some important things to be learned here. First, that it is important to choose a spouse that you have much in common with. That you are both on the same level spiritually. And that if you are not, that you set a good example to your spouse that they might be encouraged or inspired to grow spiritually, or to seek salvation themselves.

Also See: Christian Dating

Tags: unequally yoked, unequally yolked, unequally yoked marriages, christian marriage, marry an unbeliever, choosing to separate from an unbeliever, living with an unbeliever

Joshua Harris’s I Kissed Dating Goodbye turned the Christian singles scene upside down…and people are still talking. More than 800,000 copies later, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, with its inspiring call to sincere love, real purity, and purposeful singleness, remains the benchmark for books on Christian dating.

Joshua Harris follows up his bestselling I Kissed Dating Goodbye with Boy Meets Girl, the story of how he met and married his wife, Shannon. Where Harris’s first book encouraged readers to throw off modern ideas of romantic fixation, Boy Meets Girl goes to the next level and urges single Christian men and women to pursue courtship, and ultimately marriage, thoughtfully and prayerfully.

The last section of the book is particularly practical, discussing forgiveness of past sexual sin, questions to ask before tying the knot, and how an understanding of our sinful nature can lead to conflict resolution.

See Boy Meets Girl

Tags: joshua harris, i kissed dating goodbye, boy meets girl, dating, courting, courtship, christian books

The more that I study on love, the more I realize why it is the greatest gift. It is the source from which we draw strength to make use of other gifts. It is what enables us to make commitments… and keep them. It is what guides us and helps us to make the right decisions for ourselves and others. True love is what makes us feel so incredibly happy from the inside out that nothing else can bring us down. 

Love is a gift from God. We must remember (and appreciate) this in all that we do, and use the love within us accordingly. To use this gift in the wrong way means that we bring negatives upon ourselves: greed, heartache, pain, sickness, hardship and more.

It is important that we understand the nature of true love, as it is a beautiful and rewarding gift. Used correctly it is the means by which we can gain true happiness in life, peace within us… and much more.

When asked which of the ten commandments was the greatest, Jesus responded by pointing out the two commandments based on love:

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second [is] like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.
Matthew 22:37-40 KJV

This is further proof of just how important love is… and why we should all seek true love. Let me share with you how the bible defines love:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
(1 Cor 13:4-7 NIV)

True love is a beautiful gift. You cannot make someone love you. And you cannot choose who you love. This is how you can be sure that it is a spiritual gift from God. You have no control over it yourself.

People who try to control love, or have control over love, do not experience the rewards of true love. It seems there is much evidence of this in our world today. Of people who ‘love in vain’, misrepresent love, or fool others with false love. What type of results do you see from this?

Read back over the scripture from 1 Corinthians, in chapter 13. Does this define the way that you love the people around you? Does this define the love that you feel from others? Does it define the way that you feel about God, and the way that you believe God feels about you?

Pray for true love in your life. To be surrounded by loving people. To understand and realize love as a gift. To love and be loved.

Tags: true love, love, spiritual gifts, bible, corinthians, bible study, scripture